Memories of the past, sorrow, things to think about this Sunday in Eaton!

Marti Howell Collins

I can truly say it has been another one of those weeks.  Sad since the Neighbors have lost two from our small group… Harry Schenk and the Rev. Tom Clark.  In a city that would not be many people... but in a small community where everyone knows everyone... it is.  It is something we think about and reflected upon.

After some humor in finding we sent the wrong new history book copy to the printer (was someone too tired?)… with the help of Marti Howell Collins one of our new members who is an expert editor…the book is done and will be printed and picked up Monday!  If you would like a copy to replace the one you have... contact one of the group.  Actually it is a collectable as only 12 or 14 were printed and it followed the pattern of the fun”cut and paste-mistake ridden” things we put out for the Bicentennial in 1995…no spell check on our little word processor then!

Our float...

The parade this year included a float with a gigantic sign put together by Steve and Judy Goodfriend.  The sign obviously worked…there were almost no bake goods left!  Our small community parades have gotten smaller...down to only 10-15 minutes long. I think it is time for the communities to start making their Memorial Day Parades what they used to be.  Now everyone goes to Hamilton on the Fourth with a float. It is wrong, we need our communities to come together around their own community not promote another…oh well.

Time passes slowly for the young but faster and faster every day as we get older, in the end memories are all we have left of our friends and loved ones.  I have thought about this.  I spent much time digging up clips for the movie on the Bicentennial of 1995, yet few people bought them…really you should.  In it is the history of our town and community for that year.  In viewing it, it is sad to see so many who are no longer with us… and yet wonderful so see the young who are now adults with children of their own.  If you would like one I have some videos for sale at Dougherty’s and or you can go on line and order a book or a video… all precedes benefit the museum. www.historystarproductions.com.

The Historic Eaton Church celebrated its 183 Anniversary this week.  It is still so nice to hear that historic Meneeley Bell ring on Sunday’s as well as important to note that Tom Clark was one of the reasons that it is still here. The church is still a viable part and important of the community.

To all those that took time to come out and help us celebrate our Anniversary…Thank You!  You are the reason we keep doing these community gathering events.  Yes they are a remembrance of the past…but they are also a reminder of what is good in small town America, in part and parcel... a ray of hope for the future.

View our video and remember our friends no longer with us!

Putting on Events, Eaton Day, doubting churches, swearing at friends and all the rest this Memorial Day!

Jim from M&M Press with the new history book 20 years
to the day from when they did the first!

This week is almost over, and the little event  “Eaton Day” that we are putting on is here and… I have broken the two most important rules that I have learned in putting events on.  

After putting on 8 Fall Festival History Weekends, 4 Archives Events and 16 Eaton History Days, 2 Bicentennials, a Fireman’s 50^th Anniversary & co directed the 170^th Madison County Fair…I did it…I swore at my volunteer helper and asked another who is a busy person to do two things. My rules are never swear at your helpers and never ask people to do impossible jobs… 20 years of experience left in the dust!

The helpers for the events have dwindled (death and moving away) to a few people, good people, who are trying hard for Eaton’s 220 Birthday and the Town of Eaton Community, but alas…the leader is tired…far too tired.

Barb Keough has run the gauntlet with me and as I tried to describe what I wanted her to do while holding up over 100 lb. weight… I snapped….the Big D…. Y… words came out…I was appalled at myself!!! The horror!!!!

Not a hour later my good friend Cathy came over and was as mad as I had seen her ever…. she had brought me the 10 chairs I requested.  Well she was also baking today as she had something to do all day tomorrow…so in the midst of cookie bake off she was trying to fill the shoes of Judy Lyrek who was out of town…and get me chairs.

Now we had borrowed 10 chairs from this church in Morrisville for many events…Judy and Cathy get them, bring them down the day before, and pick them up that day and bring them back…. Simple I thought… until Cathy showed up.

Seems people were off on their whatever’s, and the many she contacted wouldn’t take responsibility for loaning this (20 year community group that is putting on an event for the whole Town of Eaton on Memorial Day for the 20^th time) ten chairs. 

Undaunted and resolute she did not call me (she should have at what time I would have dug some up from a more cooperative group), but had to round up the ten chairs from her card playing friends (who I thank for believing they will be returned) and even taking one off a porch!!!  I was appalled!

I pointed out to her why I always say...”Putting on a community event with volunteers…is like stabbing yourself in the eye a hundred times with a sharp pencil!”

The person I sat with later with a drink, who forgave me for swearing at her, and poor Cathy... say they are still my friends, but I wonder?

And as events go, it is not very big…just a mark in time for a rural community that is still trying to protect its history for the coming generations…but perhaps for me the cost has become too high!  This is the last Eaton Memorial Day Monday Event I am doing…can’t do it again.

Here is a video clip of 20 years ago today...Another still friend I hope Owen Corpin!

So my plea is to you the reader…please come out and support the wonderful volunteers and neighbors in your town who are doing this for you… and for a little town museum …though I am prejudiced… that is one of the best little museums in upstate New York!

Another story of Miracles, Mayhem & Friendship... with Johnny Cash thrown in!

Bob, Bob's caught from Wisconsin, Barb Keough & Pat Utter.

Some weeks are unable to be described…this was one of them again.  I am still without boiler...just stopping leaks right now as pipes froze like everything else in the cold world in Eaton. Anti freeze was good to 20 below..but it was 35 below without the wind chill!  The nights have been subzero for 2 weeks plus for the most part, but the cold is just half the story.

When asked how can someone cheat death…well ...here...I will explain. 

I was away from the house again when everything froze because there was no heat…we are talking far below zero...and I had little money to work with…but what would you do if a friend was dying and had no one with him?  The same friend (Bob Betz) I might add, who had inadvertently caused my pipes to freeze the first time because I was trying to help him and his furnace and pipes. (See blog link below)

So the second horrible week started with an early morning call and me rushing to Hamilton Hospital as Bob was taken there looking blue.  Yes and he then arrested in the emergency room.  He was so bad he was sent via Air One Helicopter to Syracuse…where he arrested 3 more times in the air and once on the ground.  I of course followed to Syracuse, and as I sat in his hospital room with him waiting for a family member to arrive, he was given zero chance of life and a doctor recommended pulling the plug. Which of course, I could not do…up to family.  I managed to call all his kids leave messages and then tried to reach my friend Barb to get some pellets and take them over to my house…I was out, and woodstove was only real heat without them and that would be out when I got home…and I had none in reserve.

As the day wore on his son arrived and finally I was on my way home in the freezing sub zero evening…my friend Barb was still there had managed to find pellets (most stores were out) drag the heavy pellet bags in house and get some in the stove.  She was also trying to revive the fire…with wet wood.  Of course it was wet… I was not home and did not get wood in from the huge pile of wood dumped (finally) prior to the huge wind and snow and subzero night of the days before. (See other blog) As I recounted the story to all of the members of our museum group via the phone, I said a prayer to Mother Cope for both he and another members son with cancer.  A short time later Bob's son called from the hospital and said his father just woke up, and wrote him a note…and the Doctors could not believe it!  Hmmm…Drs.?... Hmmm Mother Cope?

So back to work trying to stay alive...boiler repair in frigged temperatures - as boiler is outside in attached shed…chopping wood out of ice and snow…and praying we (my cat & a few homeless ones) can stay warm enough…41 inside the house one night.  I was also trying to prepare for a lecture in Syracuse on Monday, money I really needed. 

After getting things together cleaning all the filters, nozzle etc, (water in fuel...I won’t say where I bought it…but their pump froze!) I drove off to Hamilton and Blue Ox to buy clean Kero.  The roads were dry except for a few patches…it was sunny and cold… and then… BAM!  My plastic car was hit by wind in a whiteout and spun into a ditch.  I got out as if nothing happened…sat in a Sherriff’s car until a friend and tow truck arrived…  So now I had no money, no heat,  and the totaled car is worth nothing. Ah me!

So my friend Barb offered to drive me to Solvay the next day so I could make the money…I offered to cancel…”NO WAY” she said.  Of course, that was Monday and she and I were trapped on the highway at 20 miles per hour in the worst road conditions I have seen in Syracuse in years.  We had no way to turn back so we went on to the library where I was to speak, and there we found three wonderful members who had patiently waited for us…of course the talk was cancelled! 

We all talked and laughed about my week...waiting out the storm and waiting for the plows.  We actually had a good time as I recounted my week and they prepaid me for the lecture, which will be rescheduled to March.

We made it back to house where the fire was out and cold, but we were safe as Barb is a good driver… although she looked 5 years older because of the drive.

So the cold continues, car is gone, I still have another baseboard radiator to replace, wood is still wet but drying by stove, house is still cold but warmer… car it totaled.  But on the bright side I have water to the toilet and bathroom sink…food in refrigerator…coffee in my cup and a computer to write this… However I am alone on another Sunday Coming Down! (See other blog for more details - http://backstreetmary.blogspot.com/2015/01/kris-kristofferson-johnny-cash-nys.html) And laugh!

Ahhhh...life is good…right?

Yes folks.. it is the end of summer...Labor Day... and Elderberry time! Whoo Hoo!

Well folks it is that time of year again...yes "Elderberry Time".  A time when full grown older women wander roadsides and hills looking for and picking bushes with Elderberries on them.

Went over to Pat Utter's porch with Cathy Nagle the other dayand there was Pat sitting in a chair with the largest bowl I have ever seen on her lap... picking the little stems off of what seemed like a million Elderberries.

For those who do not know what they look like they are miniature berries attached to a stalk with miniature stems that you have to pull off....time consuming...Oh Yeah!

My friends Nellie and Pauline would go picking and then spend hours with TWEEZERS picking the little stems off of them...hours and hours of work.  They were also so possesive of their patch of bushes you had to be "in" to know where they were, and of who got the berries from those bushes.

One year we all went Elderberrying (as I called it) and it was a banner year.  They totted home bags and bags of the tiny fruit... and so did I.  I also put together the Labor Day picnic out in my side yard and all the neighbors gathered for the last big hurrah of the summer... with yes... fresh elderberry pie as dessert.

During the festivities a friend Marlene stopped and seeing the elderberry pie exclaimed that her mother was just talking about them...too bad she could no longer get around...and Marlene wished she could get some...so her and her mom could do their tradition of cleaning and baking a pie. So I gave her my bag that they could clean together and bake with...  This gesture was not welcomed by my neighbors...in unison "Why my nerve giving away elderberries from "their" patch!"  I was shocked.

So not wanting to offend I climbed Lebanon Hill and went to where I was told there was a stash and picked two bags full and brought them to then as a peace offering...where as tradition had it, Pauline sat for hours pulling the little stems with covetous glee....

I am sure that everywhere in this rural area there are home freezers filled with berries that will never be used...but that seem like the thing to have stored...

Pat said, "And they are FREE!"  Hmmmm $3.89 a gallon for gas to run around in your car to get them, hours cleaning and storing, electricity to freeze them...but free for the picking...AND OF COURSE....TRADITION!

Here is a link to my other article and below a poem....

http://backstreetmary.blogspot.com/2013/08/memories-elderberry-timefriends-in.html

Elderberry Time

As August’s sun heats the hills,

And balmy breezes fill the air,

We set about in bright green color, 

Searching for the fruit of summer there.

Up steep hills, across the pasture, 

Down against the forest’s wall, 

We seek a tiny little prize: 

The smallest berry of them all.

Then about a tattered building,

In a patch thick and tall,

We spot the booty we were seeking 

And try quite quick to pick them all.

The gleaming dark purple color 

Gives a clue to what they’ll be: 

For in a pie or in a bottle, 

The fruit is the “Elderberry”. 

Memories "light the corner of my mind" this Easter Springtime....

I watched an old movie, something I seldom do.  The movie was “The Way We Were” and what I found most interesting was the mini documentary that went along with the movie.  The most part that interested me most was the discussion of finding the right song.   They needed a song that would transport the viewer back to memories. 

The composer chosen for job was Marvin Hamlisch and the wordsmiths… the Bergman’s.   They describe in the documentary their work to craft the perfect “vehicle” to set the mood.  They said the title, “The Way We Were” was wonderful all in itself, but that they had the first line originally “daydreams light the corners of my mind”.    When they presented the song to Barbra Streisand she changed… one note and one word, a word that became the most important change …  the word daydreams to “Memories”.

Picture of my Mothers Family..Her Father & Mother and her!

The song won the 1973 Academy Award for best song in a movie, a Golden Globe and became one of the songs of the century!   To this day I am sure many of us enter a little piece of reverie as we listen to it… since memories are a haunting part of our life; they are something that comes back to us …sometimes good, sometimes bad…sometimes happy…sometimes sad.

                                           Rare photo of my Grandfather and all my Messere Cousins

My memories seem to start in the  Spring, which is supposed to be a new beginning, a time of rebirth when the earth wakes from the sleep of winter.  The sap has started to run and the great giants on the hill have started to sprout buds that will soon bring leaves that will last until fall’s last call.  Added to this are my memories of the many summer days spent by the lake, by the glimmering water, with the brush of soft sand against my feet when I walked the shore dreaming of the future.  Never expecting it to be where I am today.

Spring for me brings both my best memories and my saddest memoires. 

My best are the many childhood weekends around Easter… since most members of my family shared April time birthdays.  Grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, mom, dad, myself… these birthdays all turned into weekend parties, one after another.  Parties where everyone got together and cousins played at life.  Easter meant seeing some cousins from a long distance that came to the city to visit Grandma.  These were fun times to be sure.

Then things changed and I moved to the country where – ironically - all of the new neighbors shared April birthdays and the parties began again. 

Those times and people have all passed as well… and I am left here with only memories of them.  Lingering sad memories… as death end life.  In the past some of my best friends died on the three days around my birthday… and their memories though certainly fond ones, are wonderful… but they are sad.   They leave me with a feeling of being alone…. like sad memories all of my family who are no longer here. 

The wise man said that you can never go back… you can only go forward.  And so we must… we can only relive that past as “Memories” that light the corners of our mind.

Eaton Memories ..listen to the music and enjoy

My crazy week with my thoughts & singing Blood, Sweat and Tears...

This has been an exhaustive week for me.  Personal troubles... people with grudges who are too stubborn to listen to reason, mechanical difficulties, and people with money who are too cheap to help them self feel better and live safer!  There was animal abuse, child abuse, drug sellers in the area, reliving Kennedy’s death, chopping wood, no money, no gas, no minutes... and so I started singing Blood, Sweat and Tears….ME a folk music fan. 

I'm not scared of dying
… And I don't really care..
. If it's peace you find in dying
… Well, then let the time be near..

If it's peace you find in dying…
And if dying time is here…  just bundle up my coffin
'..Cause it's cold way down there
… I hear that it's cold way down there
... Yeah, crazy cold way down there.

I have friends and neighbors with serious troubles I wish I could help, my cat whose is sick that I may have to put down, Thanksgiving coming and a snow storm and fridgid cold arriving after my pellet stove quit in the middle of the night. 

So I spent the cold night and day tearing it up to fix it.  Found a rubber band in the pellets… a new bag!  It set up the auger… God I hate people who can’t do one job right!  Made me think of that old story “The Devil and Daniel Webster” and I could have been Jabez Stone who sold his soul for prosperity!

Now troubles are many, they're as deep as a well… 
I can swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell…
Swear there ain't no heaven and I pray there ain't no hell
…But I'll never know by living, only my dying will tell
…Yes, only my dying will tell, yeah, only my dying will tell…

So I looked to the bright side.  I at least am free to continue to work.  I have two new books coming out this week - one a cookbook the other a Madison County History Coloring Book for young folk.  I have the knowledge to fix most anything I own… and a crazy group of friends who I drag along on this bumpy ride in life that I am “thankful for!”  So…

Give me my freedom for as long as I be
…All I ask of living is to have no chains on me…
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me…
And all I ask of dying is to go naturally… 
Oh, I want to go naturally…

So I guess it’s on to another week…

I hope you all have a good one!  I hope you stay home and enjoy your family and or friends.  If you are alone - I hope you enjoy remembering only the good and fun times.  If you are ill - I wish you good health.  To our soldiers - I hope you are safe. 

My life’s mantra has been “You can’t go back you can only go Forward…to wherever or whatever that is.”

Don't want to go by the devil..
. Don't want to go by demon… 
Don't want to go by Satan… 
Don't want to die uneasy… 
Just let me go naturally!

Life goes on… really it does - you can see it in the eyes of the children watching the parades on TV, old folk looking at the turkey and remembering good times when their children were children!

And when I die and when I'm dead, dead and gone
… There'll be one child born..
. In our world to carry on, to carry on!

Have a Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving!

Lyrics by Laura Nyro!!!!

A trip back to the past..and the memories linger!

Sometimes memories are a bit painful as well as wonderful and this weekend brought those emotions to the forefront for me.

Eaton when I first moved here was such a wonderful place filled with friends and good times.  Oh yes the going was tough since we bought this house before the wrecking ball got it and had to struggle to stay warm in Eaton's seriously cold winters...but the neighbors became family and we had fun.

This weekend I had a wonderful visitor from North Carolina named Jill.  I met Jill when she was just a young girl who came up to Eaton to stay with her grandmother for a few weeks every summer.  Her grandmother was my best friend and fishing buddy...and summers were made up of picnics, swimming in the little pool we had out back, and trips to pick cowslips..berries....and all the things that make country life so wonderful.

So in this dreary weather Jill and I set off to revisit a few of the old haunts....we laughed...and later when she left I cried....not a horrible cry but a painful cry because now all my dear friends and neighbors are dead ...and the street though filled with new young people ...that is still quiet and safe... is missing that wonderful older segment of the population that let you remember Eaton's past.

A past that included a closed atmosphere where everyone worried about everyone else and enjoyed life for its simple pleasures like just walking to the neighbors uninvited for coffee, having lunch on the porch listening to tales of the past....learning what the family and friends were up to....or sitting by the woodstove in winter chatting about the coming springs adventures.  We called ourselves "Back Door Friends"..but we were more like family...and unfortunately they are all dead and the young have moved away.

Well today we have Facebook..and although the new neighbors and I do Facebook with each other....its not the same.....and with the introduction of the internet...it will never be the same again...never I fear!

A trip back was fun!

So a toast to those good times and to those now gone....I still remember...!

Sad that we can only revisit those good times as memories.....and the summers seem to get much shorter as you get older...and the winters much longer!

Thanks for the visit Jill....